Wizards, Lies, and Shots

So this week I am pulling out a defibrillator for my blog because the post view count went way down! I mean like flatline down. Since I get a sense of self worth from that lovely chart of blog hits, I decided I’d make a huge post. It also helped that life happened to be interesting this week.

I got on Pottermore.com and squealed quite literally. My wand was made with pheonix feather, which is only like the most powerful core! Anyways my glory was short lived. The sorting hat put me into Hufflepuff, and I have never been so insulted in my entire life.


So basically according to this cup some girl gave me her number, but it’s only Mindy. My imaginary girlfriend. We have a turbulent relationship to say the least. That in no way makes sense unless I talk about the “Lying Game”. And it existed before the “Hunger Games”.

That might not make sense either, but any chance to mention that book and I’m gonna! My brother Jared and my friend Collin and myself made up this wonderful game where one person weaves an enormous web of lies, and the other people try to catch them. So Monday I was the liar, and suddenly I was lying about going to an underground “Go For” (Not gopher) meeting where my girlfriend Mindy poisoned me with a drug called “hepacotton” not to be confused with “hopocotton”, which will kill you. Mindy was cheating on me with the King of the “Go For” group named Henry Lotus whose nickname was “T”. Also Mindy and I had forgotten we had met 7 years earlier when she pushed me off the bus and into a puddle at the intersection of Little Sticks and Sticksburg and Happy Street that leads from Happy Town….anyways I guess it either sounds like a cool game or like the dumbest thing you ever heard.

If anyone is skilled in the language of messages from the beyond, please help me decode this. Maybe it’s “hyrogliptics”.

I poured two shots of expresso in my friend Stephen’s soy caramel macchiato, and it was like it was speaking to me. In fact it was almost spiritual. I have however narrowed down my options. It’s either a message from the autobots, decepticons, ancient Egyptians/Mayans (cause they are the same thing), Mother Teresa, or Google. Scratch that. I see an “S” & an “R” Which stands for “S”uzanne Collins and J.K. “R”owling. It’s pure destiny that I will be a writer. Thanks guys for the message! Lova ya mean it!

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