The Thought That Ended

The lines are getting blurred. That’s what my head is telling me. Today me and Jared visited The Swan House (aka President Snow’s Mansion from The Hunger Games Catching Fire.) I have already been there before, but not since seeing the movie twice or getting to see the actors in real life.

This mansion has two histories and two tours. One is for the 1920’s Italian themed architecture and former family who lived there, and the new tour is for the Catching Fire movie. It’s as if the imaginary history is traveling on some parallel tracks that overlap and are becoming the more exciting reality.

Lately I have had some amazing opportunities lined up back to back, like getting to be on set of one of my favorite movies, and getting to go with Jared to interview Francis Lawrence and see Liam Hemsworth at a Catching Fire premier, and shooting a Doritos commercial with my Grandparents and seeing the amazing support and encouragement from my friends and family.

This imaginary life where unexplainable things happen is kind of a new normal in this season, and there is no logical path how I got here. It’s very messy and very normal and it hasn’t passed as anything very magical or mysterious. I have felt myself through it like every other moment. There are two realities working here. One is where I have no full time job and no real “answers” for my life- the other- amazing opportunities living the life of no safety net.

To wrap this up, I have been thinking about how believing in God and Jesus requires believing things that can only be believed through consistent hard work. I’ve also been reading about David and how he existed in a place of relationship with God and that relationship was like a whole other bigger reality inserted into his life. The new reality was bigger than his life so it made no sense how it fit at all. But that relationship with God was what made his life happen. God put David wherever He was pleased to put him. Living within my relationship with God has to mean He loves me like He loves Jesus, otherwise it’s 2-dimensional.

So I have this story that seems imaginary, but it travels into my real life and takes over my history and becomes my more exciting reality.

You know what?—my thought ended, and I’m gonna be okay with that.

I’m just excited about Thanksgiving and being home with my family, and I’m excited about Christmas lights, and I’m gonna let this big thought exist in a more raw form here.