I’ve got to have a new strategy for my spiritual life. It’s standing on it’s last broken leg and needs to fall. Every night I go to sleep regretting time I didn’t spend cramming my dreams in a bag like they’re all the pieces of a car that just isn’t put together. I’m just hoping once I have time, I’ll put the car together, and it will finally take me somewhere, but I got a feeling this car is always going to stay pieces.
I can’t talk to God in the same way and can’t spend time with Him the ways I’m used to. It’s flat. My spiritual health can’t be drugged with fresh, trendy teaching. It’s not working. It’s like God has left this place.
When you are going to travel long distances, you pack light. Only, I feel very packed and with too much don’t want-don’t need-outdated crap. Jesus was always going places and never taking anything with him but people.
This is what my instruments are telling me:
I’m drawn towards a life I can’t plan for, a future I can’t explain, a people I don’t know quite how to get to, and it feels backwards. Like the thing that’s drawing me is so strong it’s leaped ahead of the dream. Instead of a dream creating longing, it’s the longing preparing me for a place that is not yet.
My shoes want new ground and are walking on pure desire for ground to be there. And when they get there, they will wait for it to be there.
Sometimes freedom and protection affords us too many distractions! The alternative is a life suffocated without choice and No doors to even explore! Big hearts have a difficult time solely focusing on themselves. It’ that thing the mafia does. When they want to get to you, they threaten to hurt someone you love because they know you just can’t let that happen, to save yourself! For the most part, responsibilities make our days move at a feverish pace and accentuate the feeling that the edge of the cliff is coming and you haven’t had time to map out an alternate route! I think this is where faith and hope have to weigh into the equation of ” I don’t have One damn clue”! Micro-managing your spirit won’t bring assurance that things will turnout right, it will exhaust your brain and make you question every decision you make. My hope for you is that you will find peace wherever you are! In the plushest meadow, the highest mountain, the gloomiest of days, the funniest of situations, the darkest of nights, the loneliest of places… Thank God! We can never permanently lose our way; He won’t let us! ( I know this because sometimes I run from Him!…He Always catches me because it isn’t about my effort but His; it isn’t about my love for Him, but His for me!…I like those odds!😀👍🏻
I know I’m a few months late to the party, but I was stalking your instagram because I missed you and saw the link to this awesome blog. You’re an incredible person. Someone who thinks, develops and evolves with life as fluidly as water. Not to say it’s without effort. I know change encourages doubt and doubt invites honesty. And before you know it you have a tumultuous tea party with guests you didn’t think knew your name but obviously have something to say about the thoughts closest to your heart. I’ve had a few of them over recently and frequently and they’ve attacked my faith in every way imaginable. I often don’t know if faith is still a word applicable to my life. I’m not sure how to pinpoint what I want to say to you. I do, however, want you to know you are free to be whoever you choose. Don’t fear the changes in wind or new territory. You were meant to explore this place. And it will change you. And that’s okay.
Thank you Lyds for being there to encourage me, not just with your words, but also with who you are. I wish we could be neighbors again and you could just walk over to our house and just sit and talk and play video games.